Monday, November 19, 2007

CrankCast Vid Picks: Chuck Norris

Are you a presidential candidate lagging in the polls? Need something to give your numbers a little boost? How about something to give your campaign a roundhouse kick to the face? Republican Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee has just the thing.

So there you have it. Huckabee is out next president because, like the man said, "Chuck Norris doesn't endorse. He tells America how it's gonna be." And this is (almost) completely serious. Norris extolls Huckabee's virtues on the conservative blog WorldNetDaily.

However, this post is nothing compared to Norris's earlier post on WorldNetDaily where he articulates his vision of a Chuck Norris White House in "If I am elected president." Here are highlights from his presidential agenda:
  • Turn the Rose Garden into a new fighting ring for the World Combat League, in which liberals and conservatives will fight for legislative leadership and priority.
  • Increase jobs in America by sending ninja teams to sabotage and steal them back from other countries.
  • Resolve the Iraq war by bringing all of our military personnel home immediately, then going over there by myself for "martial arts negotiations."
  • Convey my plan for world peace to the United Nations: taking the governor of California with me on our "kick butt and ask questions later" USO world tour.
  • Expose the real WMDs – my fists and feet.
  • Personally smoke out bin Laden by myself and round-house kick him all the way back to America, where my United Fighting Arts Federation will handle the justice issues.
There you have it, a very Chuck Norris election. And for good measure here are some other Chuck Norris video gems.

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